


Hellish Christmas!

by steamypanda



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Christmas, Family Dinners, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, M/M, Out of Character, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21873946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steamypanda/pseuds/steamypanda
Summary: People had used many adjectives to describe Hades through the ages. Creepy, appalling, terrifying and nightmarish were quite common. But domestic? The mere idea sounded laughable.So why did he demand Nico and Hazel's presence at a Christmas dinner?
Relationships: Hades/Persephone (Percy Jackson), Nico di Angelo & Hades, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Melinoe, Nico di Angelo & Original Female Character(s), Nico di Angelo & Persephone, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 14
Kudos: 289





	Hellish Christmas!

**Author's Note:**

> So... I read Rick's interview with Nico and Hades. Bear with me here, ok? This is the first time in forever I'm posting something!  
> A few warnings: I haven't read TOA. I want to! But I'm poor and my city's library sucks :( so I'm kinda completely ignoring canon here  
> I know Melinoe showed up once (I think it was in Demigods' Files) but I'm lazy and a sucker for family tropes, so she's basically an OC with the same name. Some basics on her: "Melinoë is described in the invocation of the Orphic Hymn as krokopeplos, "clad in saffron"" and "According to the hymn, she brings night terrors to mortals by manifesting in strange forms, "now plain to the eye, now shadowy, now shining in the darkness", and can drive mortals insane"
> 
> This is it I think. This fic is really short, but I hope you enjoy it!

People had used many adjectives to describe Hades through the ages. Creepy, appalling, terrifying and nightmarish were quite common. But _domestic_? The mere idea sounded laughable.

So why did he demand Nico and Hazel's presence at a Christmas dinner? He was a greek deity! He didn't celebrate Christmas! But alas, here he was, sitting at a table at Hades' underworld palace having to listen to Persephone and his sister discussing the validity of the christian tale (sorry Hazel, but he was with step-mom in this one).

Hades was sitting at the head of the table, per usual, not saying or doing anything but the occasional smile at his wife. Ridiculous. This was _his_ idea. The least he could do was try to mantain a conversation. ~~It was actually Persephone's idea, but Nico didn't care.~~

His step-mom seemed to have taken the whole "Christmas" theme seriously. Gnarlands and bells decorated the castle and the zombies seemed less gruesome than usual, singing caroles when you passed them in the halls (the ones with vocal cords, that is). The hosts were even wearing matching outfits! He still couldn't believe his eyes. Had Hades ever worn anything other than greyscale? Granted, it was only his tie, but it was _carmesin_ , the same shade of Persephone's dress. The color, surprisingly, seemed to work for both their complexions.

Melinoe, his divine step-sister, had also been invited. She was almost as quiet as he was, save for the few snarky remarks and self deprecating jokes. She had the habit of shapeshifting to scare the zombies (and souls) around the underworld and was delighted every time she made one of them accidently de-attach a limb. Mel probably was to blame for his newly headless chauffer. Nico almost liked her, despite the abysmal saffron overall she always wore.

"Nico, sweety", his step-mother spoke over his thoughts, "why don't you eat more? You're too skinny! Take some rice! The cereals are good for a growing boy like you! Here, give me your plate", she took the plate before he could answer.

"You should also drink more tea! The orange flower is almost as sweet as you, _Nicoletto_!" Melinoe tried (and failed) to do an Italian accent in a falsetto voice. She went to pinch his cheeks but he batted her hand away. Hazel snorted into her tea.

"Children." Hades's voice boomed.

"Sorry, Father" the three of them answered.

Nico glared at Mel. She showed him tongue. Hazel, the little devil, seemed to be enjoying his suffering.

Persephone put an outrageous amount of food in his plate before giving it back. Nico stared at it in horror but forced himself to take a bite. It was best not to disappoint a goddess, after all. Seeing he was eating, his step-mother started listing the benefits of a healthy and balanced diet to a "scrawny teen like you, sweety", to the encouraging smiles of both his sisters.

Nico couldn't take it anymore. Trying to be as discreet as possible (which wasn't much considering he was dining with three gods), he took out his cellphone and sent a message to his chat with **Blondie**.

_This is literal hell_

_Lol_

_I'm serious_

_Hi, Sirius! I'm Lupin 🙃_

Nico hid his snort with a cough and another mouthful of food. He would complain that his boyfriend was ruining his reputation, but he knew better than to think he had one anymore.

_🙄🙄_   
_You're ridiculous_

_Yeah_   
_But you love me 😋_

_And I regret it sorely_

Nico knew he was smiling right now. He just hoped he wasn't blushing. Unsufferable sun boy, making him blush! Ghastly, really.

_But is everything alright?_

Okay, he was definately blushing. He hoped his skin was tanned enough after the summer at camp to hide it.

_Oh, definately not_

_☹☹☹_   
_What happened??_

_Where do I begin... how about the fact that the rulers of hell are wearing matching outfits????_

_Lol_   
_Wait, really?_

_I couldn't make this up_   
_It's too horrifying_

_😧😧😧_

_Ikr_   
_We also have zombies singing xmas songs, as if I didn't have enough nightmares_

_I'm... weirdly entertained by the idea but_   
_I'M GONNA KILL YOUR NIGHTMARES WITH MY BARE FISTS 😡😡😡💪💪🤜🤜💭_

_You may try, but shall never succeed_

_NoooOOoOooO!!1!_   
_But seriously_   
_If you ever can't/won't sleep, call me okay?_   
_We'll have a slumber party 🙃💛_

_..._   
_Okay_

Nico took a sip of tea to keep himself from completely gushing over his perfect boyfriend. How did he always say the right thing? Nico himself was incapable of maintaining a single conversation without accidentaly insulting someone. 

The tea, wretched thing, was as bitter as a monkey's butt. He tried glaring at Melinoe, but she was talking animately with Hazel. She was smirking enough for him to know she was paying attentention to him, though, so he drank the rest of his cup in one gulp just to be petty.

_Is it just you four?_

_The Yellow Menace is also here_

_She can't be that bad_

_Last month she night-terrored me and posted it_   
_ON TIK TOK_

_🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣_

_This is not funny, Will!_   
_Ever since she discovered it she's impossible!_

_What is she the god of again?_

_Annoyance_   
_Did you... did you just quote Thor at me?_

_..._   
_Maybe_

_I'm dumping you_

_😨😨😨😨😨_   
_That movie is iconic!_

_The Sixth Sense is iconic_   
_Thor 3 is flashy_

_But it has Jeff Goldblum in it!_   
_Chris Hemsworth dressed as a space gladiator!_   
_The rainbow bridge fight!_

_No_

_☹☹😢_

_Ugh, fine_   
_Thor 3 is not *completely* horrible_

_🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰_   
_I love how you pretend you're cool but play mythomagic on the internet all night_

_I'm blocking you_

  
"Nico!"

He startled. His father was glaring at him. _Oops_.

"Yes, Father?" Feign innocence. Escape.

"Why are you talking to that glowy boyfriend of yours instead of _enjoying this lovely family dinner_?"

Oh, he was fucked. Hades just used the word _lovely_.

"Uhhh.... his.... dog...... died?"

Hazel laughed, the little traitor.

"You, young sir, are grounded!"

"Grounded?!"

"Yes!"

"You can't ground me!"

"Oh, I'm enjoying this immensely." Mel felt the need to say.

"I can and I will! You have become increasily insolent ever since you turned 83 and it's time you learn a lesson!"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?!"

"Let's all calm down, please. There's no need for raised voices!" Persephone pleaded. Her husband seemed to listen and took a deep breath.

"Nico, give your phone to your sister."

"Oh, yes!"

"Not you, Melinoe!"

"Ah."

Hazel smirked at the goddess and took his phone from his hand, receiving a betrayed look from her brother.

"I'll take care of it, Father."

Oh, she was _enjoying_ this. Hazel was spending too much time with him. He had corrupted his sister.

Hades gestured at her as if to say _See?_ One _of my children respects me_. Persephone was looking at the tea kettle as if willing it to be something stronger than orange flower tea.

"Now," Hades said as a group of zombies entered the room carrying a gigantic turkey (cooked, not alive) and singing _Let It Snow_ , "let's continue our dinner as the respectable gods and demi-gods we are, shall we?"

"Yes, Father"

"Yes, my Love"

Nico sighed. This was going to be one _hellish_ Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm an attention whore. Give me kudos! Comments! LOVE  
> No, I'm not arrogant. I'm honest. And I really liked writing this, so maybe I'll do a follow up of the first time Will formally met Hades 🙈  
> Also, yes. The Seven have a group chat and Hazel was audio recording the whole thing. It is now Leo's ringtone


End file.
